Nice Guys, Bad Boys: What Does It Mean?

So I was looking at videos about why (and whether) girls like bad boys rather than nice guys. Getting more and more frustrated trying to understand what is even meant by these terms, I started watching one in which a man tries to pick up young women on a beach, first posing as a “nice guy” and then as a “bad boy”. I didn’t get halfway through it, because I couldn’t tell which one he was trying to be in the first example, and then it got me thinking.

When guys ask why women don’t want nice guys, are they using a definition of “nice” that would be strange to a female mind? Most happily married men I know are my definition of nice guys. They work hard and have a positive attitude, they are faithful as far as I know and spend time with the kids, they pitch in and cooperate and try to get along with their wives and in-laws instead of being obstructive or sabotaging the budget.

Most angry, lonely, aging bachelors I know are my idea of “bad boys”. I am not interested in them at all. They are contrary and act as other people’s wishes were a threat to their identity, they are belligerent in traffic and they like breaking rules just to argue with “the man”, they talk dirty to strange women and take everything personally. I watch them grow older and angrier and more bewildered every year; they live and probably die alone, nine times out of ten.

When men ask why women like bad boys, are they using a different definition of bad from the one we would use? Are they saying they only want what only a bad boy would want from a woman, and that they reject every type of interaction with women that would appeal to a nice guy, and therefore it is they who have closed off the possibility of their socializing with women as nice guys? Are they hiding behind a belief that they are too nice to avoid thinking about what they are really doing wrong?

Any thoughts?

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What’s Up With the Dress?

Coincidentally, in the days before the Dress went around the Web, I had been watching videos about optical illusions and how color illusions are common, in fact an intrinsic part of video technology.

I think it’s an ugly dress, so I don’t care that much what colors it is. But apparently I’m with the slight majority (told you I was normal) in seeing it as white and gold. It is, according to official reports, blue and black — kind of a high-pale blue and a weird yellowy off-black, from the best I can tell, but still blue and black.

Bevil Conway, a neuroscientist at Wellesley College, says the dress is a combination of specific shades of blue and black either accidentally or deliberately selected for maximum color illusion potential when combined. To Conway, the dress looks blue and gold. But it is in fact more blue and black. What happens when colors clash in just this way is that the brain screens out either the gold half or the blue half of the light spectrum to see the object as something more… well… familiar. After all, yellowy-black and hazy blue don’t occur in nature together that often.

Wired gives a little more detail. They show blocks of the main colors in the image, and analyze them one by one. So I would call the “black” squares sable brown, mahogany and dark chocolate — shades of brown, not black, in my book. But I can see calling it black. The “blue” squares are, if I recall my Crayola classic double-decker labels aright, are periwinkle, another periwinkle and — what do you know — cadet blue. Well, that last is certainly a shade of blue and not white. Of course, it was a shadow.

So now I’m considering it a periwinkle and sable dress. It still clashes.

Why the illusion? After all, we see things in various kinds of light all the time and usually manage to identify the colors. Why is this image so confusing? It’s not just the dress itself. I go to lots of stores full of cheap things in weird color combinations and I’ve never been so confused about colors.

If you look at the lower right corner, you can see a bright orange light. Look up from there and see the bright blue light. Your brain has around a 50/50 chance of adjusting for either light. If you see, and adjust for, the blue light, like 51-53 percent of viewers did, you will see a very loud brass tone in the lace and a greyish white in the main fabric. But if you first spot and adapt to the orange light, you will see dull black lace on a soft-blue dress.

What do you see?


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Gary Glitter Sentenced

British pop star Gary Glitter, 70, has been sentenced to 16 years for molesting children. Glitter was convicted of intercourse with a child under 13, attempted rape and four counts of indecent assault.

He was convicted earlier this month of crimes that took place in the late 1970s, when he was a popular performer selling millions of records.

Glitter was a glam rocker, who emphasized costumes and image over musical artistry, and is perhaps best known for the repetitive and driving “Rock and Roll part 2″.

His real name is Paul Francis Gadd. He grew up in Oxfordshire, the son of a single, working mother. He was performing in clubs at 16, and in the 1960s used the stage name Paul Raven. He became famous as Gary Glitter in the 1970s.

Pedophilia-related crime has been a theme throughout Glitter’s adult life. He has served time twice before on sex crime charges. He was convicted of possession of child pornography in 1999, and has also done time for crimes against children while in Vietnam in 2005. He had been deported to that country after being convicted of sex abuse in Cambodia. In addition, he has been investigated or suspected of other offenses against young girls.

Glitter denied the charges, expressed remorse for the crimes he had been convicted of in the past but charcterized the recent charges as malicious, according to Ewan Palmer writing for IBT, who also said the singer blew kisses to his fans while being led away., however, described Glitter as unreacting.

The prosecutor said Glitter took advantage of his fame to first impress and gain the trust of children, then to betray them and assault them, causing lasting damage of many kinds.

The judge said, when giving the sentence:

“I have read the victim impact statements of all three victims. It is clear, in their different ways, they were all profoundly effected by your abuse of them.

“You did all of them real and lasting damage and you did so for no other reason than to obtain sexual gratification for yourself of a wholly improper kind.”

It is the hope of this blogger that Glitter’s victims heal and that Glitter use his time behind bars to repent and seek to make amends to people he harmed over the years.



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Student Builds Lego Collider Model: Video

A student at the University of Liverpool has built models of the parts of the Large Hadron Collider at CERN out of Legos. Here is the video.

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I Haven’t Seen It, I Refuse to Look at It, but I’m Certain this is True

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Apparently 50SOG started a a Twilight fanfic (adults write Twilight fanfic?) and spawned into its own novel. From the excerpts I’ve inadvertently run into in the blogosphere, this is a horrifying development.
It sounds just one shade worse than Twilight. Naive girl falls for rich monster, wants to heal his troubled soul. When I heard about it, I thought, oh no, Twilight has been crossed with 9 1/2 Weeks.
This is an old concept but it will never be a healthy one, and it’s not love.
Where are the good new novels? Where are the stories about real love? Where are the films worth watching?


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First-Trimester Baby Plays on Sonogram, Family Watches

So cute.

The mother is guessing this baby is eight to twelve weeks along in this video. I don’t know whether she means eight to twelve weeks gestation, which is six to ten weeks after conception, or she means eight to twelve weeks fetal age, which is eight to twelve weeks after conception. Anyway, six to twelve weeks after this baby was conceived, so the second half of the first trimester somewhere.

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Parks and Recreation Exec. Harris Wittels Dead From Overdose

It’s not yet confirmed that it was an overdose.


Parks and Recreation Exec. Harris Wittels Dead From Overdose.

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